Q&A: My boyfriend cheated on me and I don’t know whether to take him back, I can’t stop thinking about it. What should I do?

First of all I am sorry that you have had to go through this, I can only imagine how hard this is for you, and I am sending you virtual hugs and love! Thank you for coming to me as I know it’s hard to speak to close family and friends without them having judgment on your decision.

There are a couple of things that happen when someone cheats on you – you’re swarmed with feelings of insecurity, “Why wasn’t I enough?” and broken trust, “What if he does that again?” This can last months, even years, even if you decide to leave. The truth is cheating really crushes a person and the impact is heartbreaking.

Okay so here is how I see it, you have three key options – either the two of you need to figure out why he felt the need to step out on the relationship – and work on fixing it. Or you learn to forgive him but also forget him or you could end it all together and let it haunt you.

What you must do out of all these options is forgive him, even if you decide to leave. If you do not forgive, you will carry the resentment with you into your life and potentially other relationships. Do not let another persons actions poison you. You are the innocent one, you do not deserve to suffer. So cry, allow yourself to be sad and feel what you are going through, but then forgive and let go – when you’re ready.

Having said that, life isn’t black and white and everybody makes mistakes. Especially when they’re young. If it was a onetime mistake it may be a lot easier to forgive and stay. But generally cheating is irreparable in a relationship. As tempting as it is to stay with someone, can you honestly trust your man again?

Everyone is different and you need to listen to the guiding small voice inside you – your intuition. Trust your gut and take a leap of faith. Maybe that means trusting your boyfriend after he cheated…or maybe it’s letting him go. Only you can make that decision. The truth is love blinds us, and sometimes (more often than not) we look back at our past relationships and wonder why we put up with it for so long. One of the most important questions you can ask yourself is this: would you encourage your sister or best friend to stay with him? If the answer is yes, then maybe you should give your boyfriend another chance to prove he loves you. If it is no – and you have to be honest with yourself – then do you think your worth more than being betrayed?

You have your whole life ahead of you, and although I do not know you personally, I know that you deserve the best that life and a relationship can give you. We only have this one life – so if staying with this guy is how you want to spend your life so be it. But always remember your worth.

I honestly hope you come to a decision that makes you happy, regardless of others opinions and thanks so much for your question and wearing your heart on your sleeve!

What do my lovely followers think? Have you been cheated on and forgiven the person? Or have you cheated and been forgiven?

Thanks for reading as always

xox

 

3 Comments

  1. February 28, 2017 / 5:08 pm

    Hi there, I just wanted to chip in my two-pence for what it’s worth because I’ve been in this situation and decided to stay with my boyfriend in the end.

    First of all, I think this is a great answer. Most people immediately tell you to break up with them and assume that you have no self-worth if you are considering staying.

    Second of all, all relationships are different. You simply cannot compare yours to others so do not feel compelled to go either way just because someone says that’s what they did.

    I think the most important thing for you to do is talk about why he did it and really seriously think about whether he could do it again. For me, we were long distance while I was at uni and it was a moment of weakness for him. Don’t get me wrong, I hate what he did and even a year and a half later I have a cry about it ocassionally. But I know that he wants to be with me for various reasons, the most obvious ones being that he wants to buy a house with me and he’s talked about marrying me. So I know it was just that, a moment of weakness.

    If you decide to stay you’re going to have to be sure that he won’t do it again. It’ll be hard building up that trust again, I still don’t like my boyfriend going out without me, but it will get easier as long as you have that certainty to fall back on at your low points.

    Nobody else knows your relationship. I’m afraid you have to make this decision yourself but I thought I’d comment with my experience just so you know that it is possible to stay and that doesn’t mean you don’t care for yourself.

    Good luck with whatever you choose xxx

    • Year of You
      March 1, 2017 / 9:07 am

      This is GREAT advice Emily, i completely agree – people tend to jump to the ‘get rid of him’ stance – when sometimes this isn’t best for you. But yet, ultimately she will have to make the decision, but as long as its based on what will make her happiest and not what other people think she should do then she will be on the right track! Thanks for you comment Emily & sharing your experiance xox

  2. linda
    July 6, 2017 / 2:20 pm

    After being in relationship with markiss for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drosemudiamenspellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. I CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: drosemudiamenspellhome@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM

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