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    Life Coaching, The Pursuit of Happiness

    The importance of recognising your self worth

    SELF WORTH

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    “Respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.”

    The first step in building self-worth is to stop comparing yourself to others and criticizing your every move; remember nobody is perfect and perfect is boring anyway.  You need to challenge your critical inner voice. The critical inner voice is like a nasty mean girl – think Regina George in mean girls – she lives inside our heads. And constantly nags us with destructive thoughts; ‘not good enough’ ‘not pretty enough’ ‘you will never achieve your dreams’ ‘you are not worthy’. This internal chat of critical thoughts –  your inner ‘Regina George’ – undermines our sense of self-worth and leads to self-destructive behaviors, which make us feel even worse about ourselves and attracts some really toxic people into our lives. It’s a viscous cycle and one you really, really need to address to be truly happy.

    Learning to love yourself is very difficult, our natural human psychological state is to survive, not necessarily be happy or feel worthy. That’s why working at our own happiness and self worth is a daily task, but I promise its worth it.

    Too many people accept sh*tty jobs and relationships because they do not respect themselves enough to realise they deserve better. Too many people become complacent in key aspects of their lives and stop striving for greater things – friendships, relationships, jobs – because deep down they do not believe they are worthy. Every aspect of your life can be negatively impacted if you don’t realise your worth. This is why its so important to address your own sense of self worth and be your own cheerleader!

    You need to reinforce your positive qualities by using using daily affirmations, eating well to take care of your body, meditating, exercising all of these things are a sign of respecting your mind and body.  And if you do have negative traits (we all do) actively try to fix your negative qualities – do not see them as a bad thing – see them as a challenge to overcome.

    Not only that – is your inner critic lying to you? Question it everyday. Is there any truth in the negative chatter you tell yourself everyday? Is it helping you in any way? Remember, when everything else in the world seems to be failing  you, you will always have your self-respect to fall back on. How you feel about yourself affects every single aspect of your life and how others treat you. You are worthy of love, of respect and of a great life.

    Value yourself regardless of your job and earnings, how many followers you have got or your body type. Yes we need money and yes we all would like to be successful and attractive. But really a job is a job, looks fade and success isn’t everything. Stop trying to find your self-worth through material possessions or outward influences. This it is not what life is about. Look around you and realise you have a lot more to be grateful for than you may realise.

    I think that by caring so much about other people’s opinions we forget who really matters, you. Don’t let your own sense of ‘self’ gets mixed around in a stream of opinions, judgment’s, preconceived ideals that other people have used to define and judge you.

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    Twitter: Hayley_Colleen 

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    Life Coaching, The Pursuit of Happiness

    The Law of Attraction 101: How to Get Anything You Want 💫

    hk

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    “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

    Whether you have been pursuing the self-help or personal development section of WaterStones or are just exploring ways to improve your life you have probably come across the book The Secret. Oprah Winfrey, Will Smith, Jim Carey are all massive fans and believe its a key reason for their success. But what actually is it?

    This is the Law of Attraction in its simplest definition: What you focus on, you will attract more of into your life.  Put simply, by shifting your focus on what you do want, and crucially, not focusing on what you do not want – you can manifest anything you desire. Sounds crazy right? So how can you use this your advantage?

    How does the Law of Attraction work, and how can you use the Law of Attraction?

    The law of attraction is about using the power of your thoughts to manifest your desires & get anything you want! It’s not just about wishful thinking though. All you want for your life begin in your mind but actions turn them into reality.  LOA states that as you take action towards your dreams, the universe will conspire to help you achieve it. BUT your mind and actions need to marry up to manifest your dreams. So if you want to be a professional athlete for example, you still have to put in SERIOUS WORK, train, eat and ACT  like an athlete. And consistently affirming to yourself that you will become one. THOUGHTS ALIGN WITH ACTIONS.  Get it?

    LETS FLIP THE SCRIPT

    Negative manifestation. 

    Have you ever been around someone and all they do is moan? Notice that they attract more things to moan about. We are all guilty of it. We wake up in a bad mood, spill our coffee on our white blouse, miss the train by 30 seconds, and from that point the whole day spirals into a complete sh*t storm. You wake up in a bad mood and it would take Tom Hardy proposing you to pull you out of it. You seem to attract more and more bad energy.

    This is crucial to understand in the LOA: that everything is energy, understand that everything you think, believe and feel consists of energy.  Your attitude-or focus-vibrates energetically, and those vibrations affect your life – and in turn creates your reality. This is no new or groundbreaking stuff. But put simply your energy introduces you in a room before you’ve even said a word. Your energy attracts your tribe. I personally, am a firm believer in energy and ultimately whether you are negative or positive this will map out your day. Being positive brings positive results. This allows you to create your own reality by “attracting” the experiences you want to have.

    How the law of attraction works: 3 easy steps.

    Step 1. You focus on your vision, what you want.
    Step 2. You act, feel and think in the same energy vibrations of that.
    Step 3. Be patient and the law of attraction will work.

    Have you ever used the Law of Attraction? Let me know your experiences! There will be a series of posts on the blog about the Law of Attraction and magical things that have happened to me when I have applied it to my life.

    Make sure you subscribe to keep up to date! 🙂

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    Life Coaching, The Pursuit of Happiness

    How to plan your week to be productive

    mental 2

    CREATE WEEKLY GOALS

    MAKE A LIST OF TASKS FOR EACH GOAL

    Set 3 main goals. This could be health, wealth and career.

    You may want to consider giving a theme of to certain days of the week. Monday could kick start your weekly budget, Tuesdays set aside for working out and taking care of your skin.  Wednesdays for writing blog posts, etc. Thursdays for working with clients. Fridays for socialising. This is a great way to get organized (and to batch your work load)!

    SCHEDULE THE TASKS AND SET PRIORITIES

    Schedule everything into your week. Block off time in your calendar and make sure you allow yourself enough time to get everything done so you aren’t scrambling to finish your tasks before the weekend arrives. Look at your priorities and see how you can fit tasks in each day to work towards this.

    PLAN ME TIME

    Although it’s great to be busy with your career and other responsibilities.  Making sure we also make time to enjoy ourselves in the week is also key for a happy life. Create a schedule every Sunday evening for the upcoming week for socialising, chilling out or even skyping your parents you haven’t spoken to in weeks. Sit down in a quiet place in your home with a cup of tea and your favourite music, while reflecting on what and who is most important to you. Have a daily reminder, whether it be on your laptop or on your bathroom mirror, of what is most important in your life and make sure your daily actions are reflecting this.

    RESCHEDULE

    If there is anything that you didn’t have time to finish, add it to your to do list for the following week. Make sure that your priorities are focused next week so you can complete the top priorities first. Try and get the most stressful tasks out of the way first, I know this is the least thing you want to do but it will then clear up your day to be stress-free.

    Enjoyed this post? Follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Bloglovin’ for daily mantras and motivation!

    Twitter: Hayley_Colleen 

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    Life Coaching, The Pursuit of Happiness

    Six realistic ways to look after your mental health.

    GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK

    RELAX GIRL. CHILL. Seriously, rest, recharge. It’s very easy to overlook making time for yourself with the hectic pace of life we all lead. But it’s essential for your mental health that you find ways to take time out and relax. Even if its just 30 minutes of your day to watch Netflix, or take a bath and put a face mask on. Little steps daily can go along way. Remember looking after your mind and body is KEY for a healthy mind.

    BE MINDFUL AND MEDITATE

    Mindfulness is about learning to focus your attention on the present moment. This is hard to achieve in our generation when we frequently have 7 tabs  open on our Macbooks and 4 apps open on our Iphones all whilst sipping a Starbucks and wondering why the hot guy on Tinder hasn’t asked you out yet. But not worrying about past or future problems can be hugely beneficial to our mental health. I have recently started a 10 minute daily meditation to be more present and in tune with myself and I HIGHLY recommend it.

    INNER CRITIC… SHUT THE F*CK UP.

    Be very, very aware of how you talk to yourself. “You look sh*t today. That guy is never going to ask you out. You’re not good at your job. You’re going to fail your degree. You’re too fat for that yoga class” Sound familiar? It’s important to learn not to talk to yourself in a negative or destructive way, such as thinking in black and white or constantly comparing yourself to others. Only say things to yourself you’d say to your best friend. What you tell yourself on a daily basis is more powerful than you know. Seemingly harmless jokes, over time, turn into seriously destructive beliefs.  Our thoughts become our words, our words become our beliefs, our beliefs become our actions, our actions become our habits, and our habits become our realities.

    TALK

    I get it, it’s hard opening up about your mental health, but opening up to trusted friends and family can help you through and tough time can massively help you get some perspective. And please, please, please seek professional help if you need it. You don’t need to suffer alone. Not only that, but stay connected and social, anything from going for a coffee or dragging yourself to that Pilates class you’ve been saying your going to go to for months, goes a long way to looking after your mental health.

    DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF

    Lift your head up, be proud of yourself, take each day as it comes. Rest, recharge, take a moment to realise how far you’ve come. Be kinder to yourself — laugh at yourself more, criticize less and be quicker to forgive your failings. Like so many things in life… it’s a work in progress. Treat yourself like your own best friend, with kindness and respect. Avoid comparing yourself to others and spiraling into self-criticism – this will always make you feel worse. Start to believe in yourself, realise your mental health is important and put your well-being first. You are capable, and you can do it.

    ACCEPT YOURSELF

    Celebrate your strengths. Accept your failures. Own your mistakes. Don’t compare yourself to others. Stop hating your body. Focus on the positive aspects of yourself. You are worthy of the very best in life. Lovingly allow yourself to accept that you’re human and that you make mistakes. You can suffer from a failure or negative experience, or you can learn, move on and thrive.

    Enjoyed this post? Follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Bloglovin’ for daily mantras and motivation!

    Twitter: Hayley_Colleen 

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    Follow my blog for weekly tips and tricks on how to live your best life!

    Life Coaching

    The number one way you are ruining your life

    regret

    The number 1 way to ruin your life is to be realistic. I cannot emphasise this ENOUGH. Screw being realistic! We are literally floating on a planet in the middle of a solar system! Mediocre isn’t what you came here to be!

    Let’s be honest, it’s normal to live an ordinary life. It doesn’t take much courage or effort. You don’t need guts to get a normal job, buy a house, and do the usual stuff. Its harsh, but it’s the truth. And if that is how you want to live your only time on this planet then OKAY COOL. But you are reading the wrong blog.

    BEFORE you go anywhere though, I’d be willing to bet money that you feel like you were meant for bigger things in life, you were born for more than you are currently settling for. But here’s the thing, if you want to have an extraordinary life you need to be extra-ordinary. You need to literally THROW yourself out of the comfort zone. You have to be ballsy in your approach to life.

    When I write posts like this I sometimes get comments like this:

    “Yeah, but an extraordinary life is not for everybody. I have bills to pay. I’m not lucky.”

    I realise that you have shit going on in your life. But doesn’t everybody? Doesn’t everybody have to pay bills?! Am I missing something here? The truth is whether you chose to go big or go home in this life, your going to have to deal with a lot of shit regardless. Life is always going to be hard. So why not try and play BIG. Take a gamble. We all end up in the same grave. Its morbid yes, but if that doesn’t fire you into action I don’t know what will.

    Whether at 25, or 60, those little voices of discontent in your head will show up in your life. First in your job, then in your life. Your relationships start going wrong. Your career starts going wrong (that’s if it was ever right to begin with). Your life goes through a shit storm. It’s whats commonly known as a ‘mid life crisis’. But it can happen even earlier, probably in your mid twenties.

    And it was all because you ignored your gut.  So I don’t really know what else to tell you other than this: You already know what you want, you just have to go for it. BUT It will be one of the most challenging things you ever do in your life. Because guess what? Living in pursuit of what you truly want isn’t easy, it is not for the faint hearted. It is a lot easier to stay in your comfort zone and doddle through life. Look, the brutal truth is when you die, your coffin will be really comfortable – lots of nice padding in there. Now is not the time to be ‘comfortable’.

    People are so scared to fail that they don’t even TRY. Pause for a minute and really think about this. People actually fail before they EVEN TRY. The irony of this is due to this fear of failing, YOU HAVE ALREADY FAILED. So try, really try every single day, start that business, ask that guy out, take that art class, go back to university, travel solo. Whatever it is you truly desire – do it now because I promise you it will be the single, most worthwhile thing you ever do. Remember: this is your life.  This isn’t a practice run.  This is it.

    The time to start is now.

    Enjoyed this post? Follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Bloglovin’ for daily mantras and motivation!

    Twitter: Hayley_Colleen 

    Instagram: @hayley_colleen

    Follow my blog for weekly tips and tricks on how to live your best life!