Are we expected to do too much?

I am what you call quite a ‘boisterous’ girl. I’m highly opinionated and outspoken, but I’m also highly educated. Basically I know my shit, and if something is happening or someone is saying something I don’t agree with, they’re going to know about it & I will not sugar-coat it. By default, this has gotten me into many difficult and challenging situations, which seems to be a bit of a theme for strong – minded women. Isn’t it easier to sit and be quite? People will say. Look pretty, and keep the peace, do as we are expected too, no more no less.

This may sound very 1920’s but I still feel that the role of being a woman is massively fragmented. But there’s always one woman (an increasing amount actually) that refuses to be put in that box. The do-ers, the thinkers, the ‘excuse me but I don’t think that’s right’ women. I personally look at these women as heroes. But I honestly believe – and see daily – that as much as people ‘say’ they are a feminist (both men and women) or believe in equality and strong women – when faced with one in ‘the flesh’ they are left flabbergasted. Threatened. Startled.

Now as a women, due to our ‘new found equality’ we are also (strangely) still expected to play the same role as the traditional women before us (from the 1920s) to cook, clean, produce children, get married, our houses must look spotless and of course we must always look beautiful – all at the same time. But on top of all of this we are also expected to be highly educated, career driven, earn equal to men, work as many hours as men – if not more to prove ourselves.

Is this all a bit too much? Are men expecting too much from us? Or are we expecting too much from ourselves?

Some common contradictions in society:

As a women if you are confident you are told ‘OMG she loves herself’ if you’re a man and you’re confident you are seen as sexy, intelligent, brave.

As a women if you are into sports and fitness like football or rugby, or lifting heavy weights you are seen as ‘masculine’ ‘butch’ ‘manly’. As a man if you are into these sports it’s celebrated as attractive, athletic, alpha.

As a woman if you are good looking you are supposed to pretend you don’t know your good looking for fear of people hating you. If you’re a man and you know your good looking well this is quite the norm and in fact, celebrated.

These are just a few things I’ve highlighted.

I think that inequality is very much still alive, in a fragmented way. We are supposed to be sexy but not too sexy so we look slutty. Intelligent but not as intelligent as our men for fear of emasculating our men, career driven but also traditional, thin but not too thin. In paradox I actually think the pressure on women is now more paramount than ever. You are supposed to be everything and anything. It is no wonder that there has been an increase in depression in females in their twenties.

Are the men also going to be cooking, cleaning, looking after the children and working full time? Maybe they are. But I have a sneaky suspicion that the rise of equality has increased the rise of women being expected to be capable of doing everything. Unrealistically. Playing into the ideal of a woman as a sort of superwoman that is not sustainable. Are we being set up to fail?

What are your thoughts? Is the pressure on women becoming too much?


  1. February 27, 2017 / 7:35 pm

    I don’t think the pressure on women has necessarily increased. I think it’s always been this way. I mean you see it all the time when a woman says she wants to take time off from work to raise her kids, she gets fired. If a man says that, he’s a hero. It’s sad but you don’t *have* to let this expectations control your life. That’s the sole good part in this. Of course it isn’t enough because of all the hate you get for following your own path which is why we need more feminists.

    • Year of You
      February 28, 2017 / 9:42 am

      Preachhh! Yes girl! Feminists are key, and equality is so important! I agree – i think its always been a struggle for women and i hope that it gets better as the pressure is exhausting – but as you say you don’t have to try and live up to ridiculouis expectations!! Thanks for your comment lovely! xox

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