Chit Chat Wednesdays: Perfectionism, moving on and finding myself.

I feel like due to the nature of my (very personal content) my readers are a bit like my pals that I like to help and give advice too! So I’ve created a new series called Wednesday Wisdom where I will write ramblings on life, current topics and how the hell to navigate life in your twenties.

4th October 2017.

Its 9am and I am sipping on my first coffee of the day. And I can’t seem to shake off the feeling that the world has gone MAD projecting perfect and unrealistic lifestyle standards, causing even more pressure on women to be perfect.

I think that particularly in the blogging and content creator industry, perfectionism is a killer of dreams. So many times I have wanted to start a YouTube channel but I see all of the perfect content out there and it has stopped me from starting a channel over and over again. Thoughts like “How can I compare? My content won’t reach an audience. I should of started years ago.” Are constantly running through my mind each time I try to move forward with it. And here I am, and I STILL haven’t started. Because of the fear of not being ‘perfect’ enough for it. This is a concrete example of perfectionism stopping me fulfilling what I would love to do.

I am what I would call a ‘lazy perfectionist’ I want perfection but I also want to chill. I want to be successful but I also don’t want to be constantly active and working 24/7. I want to be a perfect woman, a perfect blogger, a perfect friend and girlfriend but i’m not and to be honest it’s a relief to say that, a relief to admit that… It’s time to say goodbye to ‘perfect Hayley’ and be okay with that.

I am learning that trying to be perfect all the time actually hinders your progress, here’s why:

It keeps you small. It makes you think what you do and how you do it is never good enough. Instead of enjoying a process or a time in your life it turns to an unhealthy comparison of self doubt rather than self belief. Comparing yourself becomes a constant exhaustion. You can’t fulfill your idea of perfection because it’s an illusion. Do you ever sit thinking, like me, that chasing after your dreams isn’t realistic as you tell yourself that you don’t have what it takes or you’re not as ‘perfect’ as others? Don’t put people on a pedestal, everyone’s life always looks rosier looking in. Everyone started as a beginner. Start creating and enjoy the process. Enjoy the imperfections.

Perfectionism also keeps you stuck. Perfection is an illusion. It makes you feel paralysed and unable to move forward and create the best life for you – not a perfect life – but the right one for you. I think it’s time to unsubscribe to the idea of perfection and instead start embracing our imperfect selves. After all, showing your real self is so much more authentic, interesting, and relatable for your audience, your self, your friends and your family.

This year has been a massive personal growth year for me, it’s been both a journey and a process. I made a conscious effort to start a gratitude practice and incorporate more gratitude in my life so I remind myself that you don’t have to be perfect to be happy. To enjoy the little things. Yes I have been through hardship like everyone has but at this stage in my life I am extremely lucky. I am so, so lucky. I am in a better place than I have ever been, mentally, physically and emotionally.

So instead of letting perfectionism keep me small and stuck, I am realising that nobody is perfect and it’s tiring to try and strive for something that doesn’t even exist.

So on this warm October Autumn morning, I encourage you and empower you to chase your dreams and actively create and embrace your perfectly un-perfect life.

Here’s to not being perfect.

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8 Comments

  1. October 4, 2017 / 11:14 am

    I love this post Hayley – I’m fed up of seeing so many perfect photos, videos etc, it can portray lives that aren’t really real. We all need to stop trying to be so perfect and enjoy our lives the way they are instead x

    Jenny | LuxeStyle

  2. October 6, 2017 / 1:37 am

    Girlllll. This post spoke to me on so many levels. Literally like I wrote it.
    You are such a babe. I totally agree, it’s so hard to start YouTube because I see people who have all the lighting and perfect skin and perfect personalities and I’m like nah – I can’t even. I don’t know where to start.
    Really loving reading your posts my love
    Xx

    • Year of You
      October 6, 2017 / 8:08 am

      Ahh thanks so much lovely! Sometimes i feel like the industry has turned even glossier than the magazines now! Its disheartening as I actually love looking at real authentic content! At least i know i am not alone! Thanks for your comment beaut! xox

    • Year of You
      October 6, 2017 / 8:59 am

      Thanks lovely! Ooooo yes let me have a ready! So true! xox

  3. October 6, 2017 / 8:58 am

    What a fab post! I am definitely guilty of being a lazy perfectionist, and you’re right, it holds me back in so many ways. Screw perfection, I’m just going to give everything my best shot and see what happens!

  4. October 6, 2017 / 8:58 am

    What a fab post! I am definitely guilty of being a lazy perfectionist, and you’re right, it holds me back in so many ways. Screw perfection, I’m just going to give everything my best shot and see what happens!

  5. October 9, 2017 / 2:46 pm

    Great post Hayley! Aiming to be perfect is the worst thing ever because it stops you from progression and living your best life!

    Chichi
    chichiwrites.com

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