How about we all stop pretending?

How about we all stop pretending?

Recently I have been going through a pretty hard time, I don’t want to go into too much detail but I had to let go of some things and some people that were very toxic to me and basically everything in my life that I once knew has now changed. I realise I have to go through this though as I grow as a person and become a ‘real life adult’ (plus for the sake of my own happiness).

“We make plans and God laughs”

Sometimes you make plans and see your life going one way, and you get dragged in a different direction, everything gets turned upside down and everything you once knew changes, sometimes within a matter of seconds. I find trying to put on a front and be positive all the time, quite exhausting, some people are naturally happy and my god, do I envy them – but even these people have bad days. Happiness for most is definitely a choice, it’s not a given, attaining happiness is something that needs to be worked on day in day out, it doesn’t just flow freely for some of us, as much as we would like it too.

Masking reality

But what I find is people like to put a ‘mask’ on – a façade- a mask to conceal their real feelings, how they are really feeling. Why do we find it mandatory to pretend?  We put on our make up, take a shower and head out into the world pretending, thinking “I don’t want to bother people” // “Nobody likes negative people” // “i’d rather deal with this alone” so we carry on, we bite our lip and we pretend we are okay.  We are almost lost in our own glossy appearance. Its easier to put a ‘mask’ on our own reality, when things aren’t going quite as we would of liked. Instagram and social media have made it very easy for us to live in a bit of a fairytale bubble, a filtered reality. I mean people are going to like, share and follow you if you have the latest Balmain jacket, but will they if you let them know you’ve just spent 2 hours crying? That you’ve just failed an exam? That you hate your job? That your behind on rent and are really struggling?

How are you today?

These are real life situations, that happen every day. So how about the next time someone asks you “Are you okay?” And you start to reply with the standard “yeah fine thanks just tired” tell them the truth. I know this sounds a bit depressing, but it’s reality. And if we cannot tell the closest people around us these truths then i’m not sure who we can. And if you feel like the people around you won’t be there for you or won’t atleast try and help you, then get the fuck away from these people, seriously (something I have also learnt). Take the mask off and let the people who love you and care about you in, as hard as it is nothing is harder than dealing with everything on your own. Promise.

*Things that make me happy again* : I love reading about positivity, and sometimes on your worst days, trying to find a positive within a bad situation is the only thing that keeps you going, so keep doing that! I really urge people who are feeling sad or demotivated to read – nobody reads books anymore and I don’t know why, it completely changes your perspective and has helped me through so many situations.

Knowledge is power.

 

9 Comments

  1. July 30, 2016 / 8:36 pm

    I can relate. It’s really challenging in this social media filtered world to be authentic. I’ve had a couple of really tough years and it’s shown me who I can be really real with and those I can’t. A hard but necessary lesson. Keep being you x

  2. February 20, 2017 / 7:45 pm

    I can definitely relate to this! I’ve found that sharing negative experiences has helped me to gain the trust and build more personal relationships with my followers who can relate 🙂 well done for speaking out!
    Sophie x
    http://www.thescientificbeauty.com

  3. February 25, 2017 / 4:01 pm

    I refuse to lie about my problems and pain. I make it a point to be authentic and vulnerable even when it’s against my better judgement and it’s worked out quite well. It’s frightening, yes, but it’s worth it.

    • Year of You
      February 27, 2017 / 10:14 am

      This is great, its so important to stay true to yourself! Thanks for your comment lovely xox

  4. February 26, 2017 / 9:31 pm

    So true. Totally relate to your post. Thank you x

  5. March 12, 2017 / 5:57 pm

    I don’t know if it is your sort of thing but in the spirit of looking for the positives I began using an app called HappyFeed in January. It’s really good and is just a simple prompt for 3 good things in each day. I have done a little review of it over on my blog if you want to know more but it has definitely changed the way I see things day to day. Hope it helps! X

    • Year of You
      March 13, 2017 / 9:44 am

      Ohh i will have to check this out! Love that!I am gong to check it out! xox

  6. March 14, 2017 / 11:04 pm

    So happy i came across this blog and you , I can definetly relate to this post ❤

  7. May 17, 2017 / 6:35 pm

    I feel like this is extra important now that we have social media. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to what is everybody else’s ‘highlight reel’.

    Beccah xx
    thehonestolive.com

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