No one really quite prepares you for what adult life is really like.
Summed up, It’s a bit like running around a hamster wheel, that’s on fire. Along with student loans, saving, mortgages, the constant questions: “when are you getting married? Have you not bought a house yet? What are you doing with your degree?“ endless instagram envy of girls floating around on a inflatable Swan in Miami (seriously where do I apply for this job?!) OH and that great graduate job that you were supposed to get? LOL no. Its not a real thing. Basically adult life comes with a lot of crap, otherwise known as ‘responsibilities’
*sighs into white wine spritzer after a long commute home from work*.
What people really do not prepare you for though – is that among the chaos of your twenties – you lose friends. This one is particularly painful to grasp, I mean, break ups are hard, REALLY HARD. But losing a best friend? Earth shattering. And when I say losing I don’t mean them passing away, I mean the inevitable growing apart that comes with growing up. What people don’t seem to tell you is that once you’ve graduated and/or left highschool, that tight friendship group seems to, well, disappear. Sure, we all have friends, but faced daily with working full time, children, savings, trying to cram in a work out, binge watching Netflix, pretending to have perfect lives online and keeping afloat a social life it puts strain on all of us.
No longer faced with long days at school or uni as a pack of giggly girls, laughing away at the back of classrooms, planning sleepovers, watching endless gossip girl marathons, ordering pizza and cheap vodka. Your once ‘sister like’ friendships start to slowly fade into a rose-tinted memory of your ‘glory’ days.
In my adult life I’ve met some great people, and honestly some of the girls I have met whilst working have been life savers, helping me through my day-to-day and just being absolute BABES. But at work there’s a sense of professional bullshit – almost competition – what about if I don’t want to compete with my best friend for a promotion? I don’t want to be stuck in an office. It’s just not the same, it never is the same.
EFFORT WORKS BOTH WAYS
Don’t get me wrong, it definitely works both ways. I am very much a part of this ‘forgetting to reply to messages’, being too tired to make social events, and just faffing around trying to keep on top of life as well as maintaining a consistently good social life. As I have wrote about previously, there is a lot of pressure on young people to ‘have it all’ including a buzzing social life.
I think most people find as they ‘grow up’ their partner kind of fills the gap when they lose their tight friendship groups. It’s cliché but my boyfriend has become my best friend now. BUT he’s a ‘boy’ (ewww lols) but seriously, I miss the days spent planning girlie nights out when we had £5 pocket money but still managing to have the time of our lives. I miss painting each other’s nails and having sleepovers where we watch Disney films, giggling over the cute boy from school who has put your name on his MSN status and now you GENUINELY think your going to marry him, age 12. I.D.S.T.
TAKING DIFFERENT PATHS
I now have a handful of (very good) friends, but my favourite, favourite people live miles and miles away from me, a few on the other side of the world. We have all gone in our own directions. Once there’s no daily uni lectures or school days, people split in different directions, into different lives, into different people.
Some friendships have passed their expiration date, the truth is that some people come in your life for seasons, they teach you lessons that are needed at different stages of your life, but I still care for them and treasure the times we had.
I miss the innocence, I miss the naivety, I miss the friendship, I miss them.